tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715127922559165932024-03-13T21:59:49.830-05:00I Don't Even Knowi really don't.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-64392525654237487482009-09-19T00:38:00.001-05:002009-09-19T00:38:41.537-05:00there's a meat market down the street<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;font-size:100%;color:#545559;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">the boys and the girls watch each other eat</span></span>Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-82340890173454120682009-09-07T17:46:00.003-05:002009-09-07T17:52:32.446-05:00spinningmy head is spinning.<br />it's like i'm on a merry-go-round.<br />a merry-go-round spinning so quickly that i can't make it stop.<br />i can't get off.<br /><br />everything i'm seeing is blurring together,<br />yet i can piece together some of the details<br />because it's all i see,<br />over and over and over, again.<br /><br />i'm spinning,<br />and i'm thinking<br />and thinking and thinking.<br />until, i realize<br />i don't even know what i'm thinking about.<br /><br />it's just one big blur,<br />that i can't get past.<br /><br />i just keep spinning.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-27985728294233038182009-08-30T21:04:00.002-05:002009-08-30T21:05:47.313-05:00so.<br />on friday,<br />you asked me to think about some things.<br />i’ve thought about them,<br />and this is what i’ve come up with.<br /><br />yes,<br />i know this is going to be hard.<br />i’ve known that since the beginning.<br />however,<br />i like you, and i’m happy.<br />i believe that feeling is reciprocated,<br />and i think you’re happy too.<br />i also don’t see that changing anytime soon.<br /><br />yes,<br />this is going to be really hard.<br />there are more than a few people that would prefer this didn’t work.<br />unfortunately that group includes some of my friends and, at least to some extent, your family.<br />however,<br />my closest friends support my decision,<br />and at least i know all of the others care about me,<br />even if they have a strange way of showing it.<br />you seem to think your family won’t be a problem,<br />and i’m going to trust you.<br /><br />yes,<br />chances are,<br />i’ll probably end up getting hurt.<br />but, when you think about it,<br />that’s the risk in any relationship.<br />someone always gets hurt at some point.<br />sometimes both people do.<br />that’s just how relationships work.<br /><br />the main thing,<br />is that i’m happy,<br />and you’re happy.<br />it may be difficult to stay that way,<br />but i think we can do it.<br />obviously,<br />i want you to tell me if that starts to change for you,<br />and i’ll let you know, as well.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-26980493214354915732009-08-26T20:45:00.002-05:002009-08-26T20:49:27.702-05:00we spent the day in the nursing home over a week ago.<br />it was a sunday.<br />there were tears,<br />and there was sadness.<br />then, he was gone.<br />there were more tears,<br />and there was more sadness.<br />there were confused children<br />and poorly worded explanations.<br /><br />i expected myself to cry more.<br />once i got home,<br />at the visitation,<br />at the funeral<br />i didn't.<br /><br />but tonight,<br />at youth group,<br />the lights were dim,<br />hands were raised,<br />the air filled with song,<br />and i cried.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-17982668906428176712009-08-25T21:05:00.002-05:002009-08-25T21:07:32.593-05:00i appologize.<br />but sometimes<br />i'm weird<br />and insecure,<br />which<br />i think i've mentioned,<br />but i thought<br />it'd be nice to remind you.<br /><br />sometimes i need a little reassurance that everything's okay.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-5557185608226223402009-08-18T10:34:00.002-05:002009-08-18T10:36:50.058-05:00you calling me that would make me really happy, as well.<br />i think you're worth it.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-88984722809662146952009-08-14T18:09:00.002-05:002009-08-14T18:36:26.458-05:00if you didn't already know,my uncle has been really sick.<br />we found out he had brain cancer around christmas,<br />and he was given a very short time to live.<br />except, obviously,<br />thankfully,<br />they were wrong.<br /><br />lately,<br />he's been doing a lot worse.<br />they decided changing his antibiotic may help.<br />except,<br />apparently, it didn't.<br />they have now decided to take him off of all medication,<br />aside from pain pills and such.<br />he can have as much of that as he wants.<br /><br />i don't know.<br />it's weird<br />because i was never that close to my uncle.<br />but lately,<br />we've been visiting him every wednesday,<br />and it's apparent<br />that he really enjoys our company.<br />much more so than he enjoys the company of some others.<br />it's actually kind of funny.<br /><br />a little less than a year ago,<br />i was explaining to my dad<br />how proud i was of my uncle<br />for turning his life around.<br />he hadn't missed an AA meeting in years.<br />he had picked himself up after the flood.<br />he was moving into a new house.<br />he was working out his drug problems.<br />he was fixing his relationship with his kids.<br /><br />one minute,<br />his life was changing.<br />the next,<br />it began to slowly leave.<br /><br />but.<br />he's ready to go.<br />and i think we're ready to let him.<br />we're ready for him to go to sleep<br />and not wake up.<br />that would be ideal.<br />we're ready for tears.<br />we're ready for sadness.<br />we're ready.<br /><br />but what if we're not?<br />he promised my brother back in febuary,<br />he would make it to his first football game.<br />it started looking like that would be possible.<br />my brothers game is two weeks from today.<br />the nurses just let our family know<br />they don't think my uncle will last that long.<br />it probably won't happen in the next few days,<br />but it could very likely happen in the next week.<br />he may have two.<br />but, even if he's still around,<br />he probably won't be up for it.<br />so. that's unfortunate.<br /><br />but.<br />at least he has something to look forward to.<br />something to keep his mind off of things.<br />something.<br /><br />the thing that scares me the most<br />is that i don't know how i'll react.<br /><br />yeah.<br />i don't really like talking about any of this.<br />so. if you want to,<br />you can try to bring it up.<br />and, i may decide i need to talk about it,<br />but i'll probably give you a short answer.<br />or, i'll change the subject.<br /><br />but yeah.<br />this way, you don't need to ask.<br />you can just know.<br />or whatever.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-32521215179225972102009-08-13T20:51:00.000-05:002009-08-13T21:19:12.863-05:00yeah, i don't make sense.right after i come up with a semi-valid explanation for why i never write in my blog, i all of a sudden want to write in it all of the time.<br /><br />but seriously. i wrote three blogs in less than two hours last night. that's weird.<br /><br />i don't even know what i want to say. i just feel like writing.<br />so i'm sorry if this ends up just being pointless rambling.<br />although, that's usually how all of my posts turn out.<br /><br />i really don't want summer to be over.<br />i really, really don't.<br />but it almost is.<br />so i'll get over it.<br />i'll be fine.<br /><br />lately, i've been listening to a lot of stuff i haven't listened to in a long time.<br />like. today i listened to relient k. and jack johnson. and the lucksmiths. wth.<br />i honestly don't think i've listened to relient k or the lucksmiths since freshman year.<br />and i very, very rarely listen to jack johnson.<br />i've also been listening to the postal service.<br />i really don't know why i stopped.<br />and animal collective. and arcade fire.<br />that doesn't seem quite as unusual to me.<br /><br />uhm. everyone should go see (500) days of summer.<br />reason being,<br />it's really, really great.<br />make sure you pay attention to the director's note at the beginning.<br />you'll laugh.<br /><br />i'm in a really strange mood right now.<br />hence the excessive rambling.<br />i've been really happy.<br />except,<br />i keep second guessing myself.<br />which i'm pretty sure i don't need to do.<br />but i'm doing it anyway.<br />but yeah.<br />i guess i just do that.<br />i think that's normal.<br /><br />it may not be normal.<br />sometimes i get confused about that.<br />this one time i was talking to jordan,<br />and i was telling her about a conversation/scenerio that i had played out in my head earlier in the day.<br />except,<br />she didn't know what i was talking about.<br />apparently it's not normal.<br />after thinking about it,<br />i realized that it's kind of like talking to myself.<br />except.<br />i do it inside my head.<br />and i'm pretty sure everyone talks to themself inside of their head.<br />because, isn't that what thinking is?<br />maybe it was only weird because i also think for other people when i play out conversations/scenerios in my head.<br />but, again.<br />i could be wrong.<br />i probably am wrong.<br />maybe i just think incorrectly or something.<br />it works for me though,<br />so. i'm okay with it.<br /><br />i find people that need to know details about everyone's lives annoying.<br />i mean,<br />it's different,<br />when people care.<br />i just feel like some people only want to know so that they know.<br />which i don't think is okay.<br />but.<br />even when it's because they care,<br />i feel like there's a difference between liking<br />to hear about someone's life<br />and expecting<br />that you deserve to be told.<br /><br />and i realize that the purpose of blogs is to let whoever wants to know<br />hear/read about personal things about yourself.<br />and i can't filter between readers that want to know because they care<br />and people that only read so that they know.<br />but still.<br />i realize that.<br />and i'm offering this information anyway.<br />so it's okay.<br /><br />i feel like things are working out a lot better than i expected them to at first.<br />i was worried to see how people would react.<br />but.<br />the people i really, really care about,<br />have reacted well.<br />and i suppose i shouldn't have expected any less.<br />because,<br />if they really cared,<br />they would respect my decisions.<br />and they do.<br />and i'm glad.<br />so i've decided that i don't care about how anyone else reacts.<br />because these are my decisions.<br />and they really don't affect many other people.<br />i'm really only worried about one person's reaction.<br />because i'm pretty sure she doesn't know.<br />but i think she'll figure it out soon.<br />and she's the only one who really has any reason to be upset about it.<br />and i really like this person.<br />and i really don't want her to be upset with me.<br />but i figure it's almost unavoidable.<br />but hopefully it's only uncomfortable for a short while.<br />because, like i said,<br />i really like this person.<br />and i would enjoy it very much if she didn't decide to start hating me.<br />because that would be sad.<br />but. also.<br />i think she has a legitimate reason to be a little upset.<br />or uncomfortable.<br />about this situation.<br />so.<br />i guess we'll see.<br />what happens.<br />with that.<br /><br />i started writing with nothing to say.<br />except then i found lots of things to say.<br />which is funny<br />because<br />sometimes,<br />that happens the opposite way.<br /><br />i hope at least some of that made sense.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-57100309935299879262009-08-12T23:58:00.003-05:002009-08-12T23:58:55.963-05:00the past is the past.and today is today.<br /><br />i need to remember that.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-25398229884560935222009-08-12T22:59:00.001-05:002009-08-12T23:02:13.248-05:00also.i told you that i didn't write in my blog very often because i didn't have anything to say that i wouldn't say out loud.<br />well, i lied.<br />actually, i just changed my mind.<br />i have things to say, that i won't say<br />mostly because i know<br />if i say them<br />or even write them down,<br />things would change.<br />or, i would say something else,<br />and things would change more;<br />i don't want to mess this up.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-29662706782469971352009-08-12T22:33:00.000-05:002009-08-12T22:35:09.642-05:00so.sometimes,<br />i do this thing.<br />i overthink things,<br />and make myself paranoid.<br />i've been doing better at avoiding this,<br />and i've been happy,<br />really happy.<br />but, right now,<br />for whatever reason,<br />i'm doing it again.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-21154968372142777862009-07-23T23:18:00.001-05:002009-07-23T23:38:28.573-05:00http://mylifeisaverage.com/Today, I thought someone was talking to me, so I responded. They looked at me wierd, and pointed at there Bluetooth. I returned the wierd look, and pointed at my ear. I didnt have a Bluetooth in, but he thought I did, and nodded. I still feel like I won. MLIA<br /><br />Today, in Science class my teacher asked us what we thought of when we heard the word "evolution". I thought of Pokemon, but I didn't say anything. MLIA.<br /><br />Today, I was watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I didnt want to look into the eyes of the snake so I wouldnt die. I accidently looked. I didnt die. MLIA<br /><br />FOR ELIZABETH: Today, I announced to my friends at lunch that even though I'm a jock, I love to bake as well. The whole cafeteria didn't break into song. MLIA<br /><br />FOR JORDAN: Today, I had a dream that my pet crocodile died. Then I woke up and remembered I don't own a crocodile. I still felt sad. MLIA<br /><br />Today, I mixed my blue shampoo and pink conditioner together to see if it would still make purple. It did. MLIA<br /><br />Today I was watching Dora the Explorer. When she asked me what my favorite part was, I said "The part where you died." She said "I liked that part too." I felt proud of myself for tricking her. MLIA<br /><br />When I went to go see Harry Potter, Dumbledore said "You need a shave, Harry." I felt like Dumbledore was being a hypocrite. MLIA.<br /><br />Today, I read a MLIA about someone who went to Wendy's and only got 9 chicken nuggets instead of 10. I just had Wendy's for lunch and got 11 chicken nuggets instead of ten. I felt like I stole their chicken nugget. I'm sorry. MLIA.<br /><br />Today, I went to an amusement park. A song I knew started playing, so started to sing and dance along. I passed another girl doing the same thing. We gave each other a look of respect. MLIA.<br /><br />Today, I was working as a lifeguard by letting kids go down a slide. The only way I would let them go was if they danced. All of them danced. MLIA.<br /><br />Today, I was playing a board game with my family, and I was very upset that they had left me with the red game piece, since red is my least favorite color. I won, and quietly thanked my red piece, promising it I would never discriminate again. MLIA.<br /><br />Today I was listening to my ipod while playing a game on the computer. The song I was listening to was recorded live and the crowd started cheering at the same time I won the game. I felt like they were cheering for me. MLIA<br /><br />Today was my birthday. Some people that I don't like very well posted "happy birthday" on my facebook wall. I like them more now. MLIA.<br /><br />Today in class this boy let out a really loud sneeze. A few minutes later I let out 2 silent sneezes that no one could hear. It assured me that between me and him, id make a better ninja. MLIA<br /><br />Today, while I was on my computer, people were being noisy out in the hallway, so I wanted to shut my door. It was too lazy to get up so instead I opened the window. The breeze came in through the window and shut the door. I felt very clever. MLIA<br /><br />Today, I noticed how stories on MLIA have way better grammar and spelling than FML and MLIG. It made me like my average life more. MLIA.<br /><br />obviously, there are more.<br />go look for yourself.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-3745161319156162082009-07-23T23:18:00.000-05:002009-07-23T23:20:21.511-05:00http://mylifeisaverage.com/Today, I thought someone was talking to me, so I responded. They looked at me wierd, and pointed at there Bluetooth. I returned the wierd look, and pointed at my ear. I didnt have a Bluetooth in, but he thought I did, and nodded. I still feel like I won. MLIA <br />Today, in Science class my teacher asked us what we thought of when we heard the word "evolution". I thought of Pokemon, but I didn't say anything. MLIA.<br /><br />Today, I was watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I didnt want to look into the eyes of the snake so I wouldnt die. I accidently looked. I didnt die. MLIABriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-40273611871321584592009-07-20T11:43:00.000-05:002009-07-20T11:52:02.791-05:00sometimessometimes, when i feel uncomfortable, everything i say comes out wrong. usually it comes out at least 10 times more awkward than i intended. this is problematic because it makes me and whoever else is part of the conversation feel exponentially more uncomfortable.<br /><br />sometimes, it's really hard for me to hide what i'm feeling. other times, i'm really good at it.<br /><br />sometimes, i learn new things about myself. for example, my fears. i've known i'm deathly and irrationally afraid of oppossums. on the other hand, i'm discovering that i'm also very afraid of letting others down, leading guys on, and losing friendships. for whatever reason, i'm also weirdly afraid of rape. in small town iowa?<br /><br />sometimes, i lie to others about how i'm feeling. really, i'm just trying to convince myself.<br /><br />sometimes, i overthink things i want to do or so. other times, i don't think about them enough.<br /><br />sometimes, i change my mind very easily. other times, i'm really stubborn.<br /><br />sometimes, i'm one way. other times, i'm another. don't worry, it doesn't make sense to me either.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-44487068021482893452009-06-21T20:20:00.000-05:002009-06-21T20:44:29.940-05:00you know you're bored when...you complete pointless surveys! yeah!<br /><br />That fifteen people one...yeah.<br />1. Heidi<br />2. Sam Brooks<br />3. Matthew<br />4. Jordan Thomas<br />5. Jake<br />6. Sam Niles<br />7. Maggie<br />8. Nicole<br />9. Kim<br />10. Elizabeth<br />11. Mariah<br />12. Hannah<br />13. Jesse<br />14. Sam Dorrance<br />15. Kate Sinnot<br /><br />1. How did you meet 1?<br />she moved in a couple houses away from me when we were five.<br /><br />2. What would you do if you had never met 8?<br />study hall and drivers ed would have epic failed last year.<br />i wouldn't have an excuse for a possible roadtrip some year.<br /><br />3. Would you date 2?<br />if i wanted to buy her lunch. =P<br /><br />4. Have you ever seen 11 cry?<br />i'm not sure. if i have it was quite a while ago.<br /><br />5.Would 3 and 13 be good friends for eachother?<br />hmm... quite possibly. they could make music or something.<br /><br />6. Describe 9.<br />well, she's a ninja, she can read expressively about PMS, she's lots of fun.<br />we weren't really friends until this year.<br /><br />7. Do you like 2?<br />of course.<br /><br />8. Do you think 6 is attractive?<br />ha. she's in my phone as "Sam "Sexy" Niles", so yes. she's obviously sexy.<br /><br />9. When was the last time you talked to 14?<br />last night.<br /><br />10. Would you date 7?<br />nah.<br /><br />11. Where does 15 live?<br />in waterloo. kind of by jake.<br /><br />12. What is the best thing about 5?<br />i can talk to him about personal things and about the bigger picture.<br />we have fun.<br /><br />13. What would you like to tell 13 right now?<br />we still have some of those strange looking muffins. o.O<br /><br />14. What is the best thing about 10?<br />i really don't know her that well anymore.<br /><br />15. Have you ever kissed 2?<br />no.<br /><br />16. What's the best memory you have had with 14?<br />hmm... either our late night converstaion about today's culture or hanging out in my pasture with maggie, jake, kate, and matthew.<br /><br />17. What is 10's best talent?<br />she's in dance.<br /><br />18. Is 15 pretty?<br />yes<br /><br />19. What was your first impression of 4?<br />she was a spaz, but don't tell mr. hovden i called her that. =P<br /><br />20. How long have you been friends with 1?<br />since we were five.<br /><br />21. Have you seen 5 in the last month?<br />yes.<br /><br />22. When was the last time you saw 11?<br />school. =/<br /><br />23. Have you ever been to 13's house?<br />yes<br /><br />24. When is the next time you will see 9?<br />i'm not sure. =/ she's in camp until july. but i saw her last night.<br /><br />25. Are you really close to 6?<br />sometimes. we try.<br /><br />26. Would you hug 7?<br />of course.<br /><br />27. Do you know a secret about 5?<br />probably a few.<br /><br />28. Describe the relationship between 14 and 4.<br />uh...they dated once.<br /><br />29. What's your friendship with 12 like?<br />she's my step-sister.<br /><br />30. Have you ever danced with 7?<br />yes.<br /><br />31. How do you know 12?<br />she's my step-sister. i was in play group with her older brother when she was a baby.<br /><br />32. Does 2 have a bf/gf?<br />yes.<br /><br />33. Have you ever wanted to smack 4 in the face?<br />i did once...sorry about that, jordan.<br /><br />34. Has 11 met your mom?<br />yes.<br /><br />35. Have you ever traveled with 10?<br />no where far away.<br /><br />36. If 7 had $100 what would they spend it on?<br />lolla.<br /><br />37. What's your best memory of 2?<br />hmm. there are lots. maybe driving around with her in cedar falls/waterloo when she first got her license. =]<br /><br />39. What is the last thing you did with 15?<br />went on a walk in the dark with jake after maggie, sam, and matthew left.<br /><br />40. When did you meet 6?<br />jr high, i believe.<br /><br />41. How did you meet 8?<br />school? emily?<br /><br />42. What is the funniest moment you've had with 3?<br />hmm. i'm not sure.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-26194994076090904682009-06-16T21:13:00.000-05:002009-06-16T21:23:52.978-05:00changei can only imagine the past that lies beyond my earliest memories.<br />i imagine can only imagine the way you once were.<br /><br />you were strong: muscles clearly defined by your hard labors.<br />your hands were rough, like sandpaper: the result of years of hard work.<br />you were wise: you've gained experience throughout your lifetime.<br />you were a brother, a husband, a father.<br /><br />i can faintly remember how you were in the past.<br />you were witty.<br />you craved sweets.<br />you were humorous.<br />you were wise.<br />you were a man of God.<br />and sometimes, you had a temper.<br />you were a brother, a husband, a father, and a grandfather.<br /><br /><br />i wish i could erase the image of how you are now from my mind.<br />you are afraid.<br />you are sick.<br />you are frail.<br />you cannot see.<br />you cannot remember.<br />you cannot understand.<br />you are hardly a brother; you are no longer a husband; you have no memory of your children or grandchildren.<br />you are alone; hiding somewhere in the depths of your mind.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-12830566557574877072009-06-15T12:30:00.000-05:002009-06-15T12:34:42.931-05:00oh, regina.i'm so excited for her new album.<br />"Far" comes out on the twenty third, the tuesday before i leave for colorado, which means i'll be able to listen to it my whole drive and the trip! haha. i've been listening to some of the songs on youtube/myspace and they're pretty great. some of the songs on the album are some pretty old songs of hers that heidi had gotten off of limewire for me a while ago, but the versions are new. it's kind of weird. i can't decide if i like the album version or the origional version better... o.O but yes. i'm super excited.<br />my favorite song so far is "laughing with". it's about how people joke around about God, but when something serious happens, no one is laughing and everyone is just hoping he's there. i think she hit that right on. the lyrics are on the internet already if you want to see them. i'm too lazy to deal with reformatting the lyrics after copy and pasting them into this window. =PBriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-79508005549587757012009-06-12T22:12:00.000-05:002009-06-12T22:25:06.421-05:00negative nostalgia?man, i'm feeling nostalgic right now.<br />i'm not sure it's really a good thing.<br />i mean, it makes me kind of sad and it gets me thinking about things i feel guilty for thinking about.<br />the thing is, it also makes me happy.<br />i'm sad that things are over, but i'm happy that they happened.<br />even though i feel a little guilty for thinking about all of it, i find myself putting myself into positions that will cause me to get like this over and over again.<br /><br />according to urban dictionary, nostalgia is "A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past. OR The condition of being homesick; homesickness. "<br />bittersweet sounds about right to me.<br /><br />nostalgia is nice.<br />you know, nostalgia is more than nice.<br />nostalgia is wonderful.<br />it's good to reflect on the past every once in a while.<br />it's natural to miss some of the things you've left behind.<br /><br />the question is, how much is too much?Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-8974623520422614752009-06-11T12:40:00.000-05:002009-06-11T12:43:30.979-05:00i'msuperpumped!so, i was taking a shower, right? [because hygiene is important to me. just not important enough for me to know how to spell it...]<br />but anyway, i came up with this thing, and then, i wrote it down, and THEN, i actually LIKED it.<br />you may not, but i think it's kind of profound, and i guess that's all that matters, right? that i like it?<br />but anyways. it's rather short, but i'm hoping i'll be able to build off of it later.<br /><br />"We are blinded by our perscriptions; details become too defined. From far away, those details don't exist."Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-47622806257781957592009-06-09T17:04:00.001-05:002009-06-09T17:05:48.452-05:00on second thought...=]<br />?Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-32282498067846684272009-06-09T11:10:00.002-05:002009-06-09T11:12:41.330-05:00frustration.kjlsd fnofcdmnb soui9834ejkihnsadhujb hjuwrhgbxfcjf lkjhumnbcxkmnlahhhhhhjmnuo nwoirwpouiu lkdjf m8943t587vtgjhsbdfskv39u7nbyas;ljas boiwy4rvi hoijupm9un ouiar7yaw uhy;aiseur;oias uvghvlkj nlfwU YKAJBSFLKAWEYR IVG BFKSMNB ASKJ UHLHN;LS KAHl hj ;oiuhasdkjf h;saliuf a;ierhnafdlskfga;soid yhf;jn ;au ;oiwuero8w43y52i4j5;o9osalijdl;fk ayr qawtrhn; o29u7o;jg;kijs;8da;e3kj;oiu7fdsaihflka ilasr ;iawehrlakjnkiofsdanla eio833 skjheuyakbdf wh;oriwufvcl ndlsoi u 47983wrhy,n,knui mjszkiuyhj jhsdflkjsdlfkjasd;lf aiwleu r2984yr5 hreopiau]fypa8yhrfwakerhow8 473453452jl;kjsf oasvnskadjfahwiueraklj aieyroahnd8437;laksdf8324j;kfsauy3wkjl;lfsdfa79425jsfb sskldjfalsdiuwrjkajlkjILUAJNA; DLFKAUEIHFAHGWUAYLR;IADKFHUIEORHe;kljafsd;lkajs;oiaefnakls jadhf;asiehahnfa;liwa73o8l;khna;sdfliuai3kajef;a98uaikurj;liadfu;ow8urekjladkajsfa;ewjdlkjfds;l8wwewejfdskfsajlk2w23sdkfjas;dlkfja;lweirf;l lseaiwiel hf;sdlifuwe;liyri;loweiruk ja;lfsieur awoiroahn al;sdkjfopwehgu iocnvbioaywbbaviwabebgruwehoancovhgoinabcouhoicoievncagvimeoijv.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-6215151665707484062009-06-07T18:20:00.000-05:002009-06-07T18:34:02.118-05:00man, i'm such a hypocrite.you know those things that bother you about yourself?<br />everyone has them.<br /><br />there's just little things you feel inside that don't make sense to you<br /><br /><br />there are morals that you expect others, and yourself, to posess, but sometimes, you feel like you're straying away from those morals; it seems almost uncontrollable.<br /><br />there's such a fine line; it makes it hard to know if you've crossed it.<br /><br /><br />it isn't right.<br />it isn't fair.<br />it's hypocritical.<br /><br />itreallybothersmethatwedon'thangoutmore,eventhoughiknowthatisn'tfairtoyouandi'vebeenguiltyofthesamethinginthepast.sometimes,imisshimalot,andiknowishouldn't;ithoughtiwasoveritandiwasdonefeelinglikethis,buti'mnotsureireallyam,i'mnotsurei'lleverbe,andidon'tthinkthat'sfairtoyou.ireallylikeyou,butsometimesit'shardformetofeellikeyou'repartofmylife;whenyou'rethere,you'regenerallythere,butwhenyou'renotyou'regenerallynot;idon'tthinkthat'sfairtoyoueither,andican'tdecideifthat'sfairtome.wereallysuckatcommunication,andidon'tknowhowtogetbetteratit.sometimes,iwonderifthisisworthit;ifeelbadwondering,butiwantyoutoknow,ireallyhopethatitisworthitbecauseireallywantthistowork.thisisacrucialpointinourrelationship;rightnowwilldeterminifthiswillworkornot.iwanttohangout,youwanttohangout,ithinkweneedtohangout.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-19403202027374292592009-06-04T15:41:00.000-05:002009-06-04T16:02:03.433-05:00my attempt.these are my attempts at poetic descriptions/profound thoughts.<br />i really don't think they're all that poetic or profound, but i'm planning on keeping writing. the idea is i'll get better or something...<br /><br />let me know what you think!<br /><br />from above, Earth is nothing more than geometric shapes.<br /><br />great distances fade into nothingness<br /><br />streets work as grid lines; the buildings plot the points. we're constructing a graph. where will it lead us?<br /><br />we follow a set course without knowledge of its endpoint<br /><br />is the saying always question authority or never? i guess it depends on who you ask.<br /><br />we hunger for control of things we cannot yet reach.<br /><br />painting we words with vibrant colors, i want them seen from far away.<br /><br />it doesn't seem fair; the hero always wins. trust me, i've seen it on TV.<br /><br />everything looks different from above; quite different; unrecognizable to an untrained eye. perspective is more powerful than it would seem.<br /><br />i used to be afraid of the dark. i now see it as only the absence of light.<br /><br />These monuments are nothing more than marble and cement, but our ideals are secured inside. Our hope, our freedom, our patriotism: they stain every brick. One look can evoke a whole flood of emotion.<br /><br />driving down a deserted road, bypasses by the highway long ago. A ghost town now, the Bates Hotel, guarded my a flock of birds.<br /><br />The sensation of falling; we plunge into the water; chaos breaks, our air supply slowly diminishing; engulfed by our own mortality.<br /><br />i have more, but i'm out of time.<br />i'll post more later.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-87101226441844179572009-05-31T20:57:00.000-05:002009-05-31T21:10:37.132-05:00goals.my goals for this week:<br />[ ] make chamber choir<br />[ ] do well on my semester tests<br />[ ] spend time studying things i need to; mainly, spanish, especially the speaking portion<br />[ ] don't spend to much time studying, and avoid worrying<br />[ ] stay out of any end of the year drama<br /><br />my goals for this summer:<br />[ ] play belegarth<br />[ ] play ultimate frisbee<br />[ ] go camping<br />[ ] hang out with friends<br />[ ] hang out with family<br />[ ] listen to music<br />[ ] go to shows<br />[ ] go to LOLLA!<br />[ ] have adventures<br />[ ] write<br />[ ] start singing lessons with anna<br />[ ] take pictures with heidi<br />[ ] stay out late<br />[ ] drive to an unknown destination<br />[ ] find cool places to hang out<br />[ ] play with sidewalk chalk, bubbles, etc.<br />[ ] have a water fight<br />[ ] spend lots of time outside<br />[ ] find a job... o.O<br />[ ] drive up to cedar falls to visit jordan!<br />[ ] see nicole!<br />[ ] send letters/packages to my friends that are living at camp for the summer<br />[ ] go to/have parties<br />[ ] work on starting the "community"<br />[ ] avoid drama.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871512792255916593.post-2657324923160186392009-05-29T23:51:00.000-05:002009-05-30T00:00:50.259-05:00human natureit is human nature to want to better yourself.<br />therefore, it is human nature to crave accomplishments.<br /><br />everyone wants to be the first;<br />everyone wants to be the best;<br />everyone wants to be the most origional.<br />at least to some extent.<br /><br /><br />the problem is, this natural feeling is often taken out of control.<br /><br />we will use extreme measures to reach our goals.<br />we step on those below us.<br />we claim things that do not belong to us.<br />we lie; we cheat; we steal;<br /><br />sometimes, we hurt the only people who are still rooting for us.<br />sometimes, we take responsibility for words, actions, or accomplishments that were not ours at the start.<br />sometimes, we lose sight of what's important.<br /><br />sometimes, we forget about all of the things we actually have accomplished.<br />sometimes, we forget about how we've gotten to where we are.<br />all of that ends up not even mattering anymore.<br />it is when that happens, that all of our real accomplishments cease to exist.Briannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688321235211144172noreply@blogger.com0