yeah, i don't make sense.

right after i come up with a semi-valid explanation for why i never write in my blog, i all of a sudden want to write in it all of the time.

but seriously. i wrote three blogs in less than two hours last night. that's weird.

i don't even know what i want to say. i just feel like writing.
so i'm sorry if this ends up just being pointless rambling.
although, that's usually how all of my posts turn out.

i really don't want summer to be over.
i really, really don't.
but it almost is.
so i'll get over it.
i'll be fine.

lately, i've been listening to a lot of stuff i haven't listened to in a long time.
like. today i listened to relient k. and jack johnson. and the lucksmiths. wth.
i honestly don't think i've listened to relient k or the lucksmiths since freshman year.
and i very, very rarely listen to jack johnson.
i've also been listening to the postal service.
i really don't know why i stopped.
and animal collective. and arcade fire.
that doesn't seem quite as unusual to me.

uhm. everyone should go see (500) days of summer.
reason being,
it's really, really great.
make sure you pay attention to the director's note at the beginning.
you'll laugh.

i'm in a really strange mood right now.
hence the excessive rambling.
i've been really happy.
except,
i keep second guessing myself.
which i'm pretty sure i don't need to do.
but i'm doing it anyway.
but yeah.
i guess i just do that.
i think that's normal.

it may not be normal.
sometimes i get confused about that.
this one time i was talking to jordan,
and i was telling her about a conversation/scenerio that i had played out in my head earlier in the day.
except,
she didn't know what i was talking about.
apparently it's not normal.
after thinking about it,
i realized that it's kind of like talking to myself.
except.
i do it inside my head.
and i'm pretty sure everyone talks to themself inside of their head.
because, isn't that what thinking is?
maybe it was only weird because i also think for other people when i play out conversations/scenerios in my head.
but, again.
i could be wrong.
i probably am wrong.
maybe i just think incorrectly or something.
it works for me though,
so. i'm okay with it.

i find people that need to know details about everyone's lives annoying.
i mean,
it's different,
when people care.
i just feel like some people only want to know so that they know.
which i don't think is okay.
but.
even when it's because they care,
i feel like there's a difference between liking
to hear about someone's life
and expecting
that you deserve to be told.

and i realize that the purpose of blogs is to let whoever wants to know
hear/read about personal things about yourself.
and i can't filter between readers that want to know because they care
and people that only read so that they know.
but still.
i realize that.
and i'm offering this information anyway.
so it's okay.

i feel like things are working out a lot better than i expected them to at first.
i was worried to see how people would react.
but.
the people i really, really care about,
have reacted well.
and i suppose i shouldn't have expected any less.
because,
if they really cared,
they would respect my decisions.
and they do.
and i'm glad.
so i've decided that i don't care about how anyone else reacts.
because these are my decisions.
and they really don't affect many other people.
i'm really only worried about one person's reaction.
because i'm pretty sure she doesn't know.
but i think she'll figure it out soon.
and she's the only one who really has any reason to be upset about it.
and i really like this person.
and i really don't want her to be upset with me.
but i figure it's almost unavoidable.
but hopefully it's only uncomfortable for a short while.
because, like i said,
i really like this person.
and i would enjoy it very much if she didn't decide to start hating me.
because that would be sad.
but. also.
i think she has a legitimate reason to be a little upset.
or uncomfortable.
about this situation.
so.
i guess we'll see.
what happens.
with that.

i started writing with nothing to say.
except then i found lots of things to say.
which is funny
because
sometimes,
that happens the opposite way.

i hope at least some of that made sense.